Come What May

What a weekend.  For me at least.  The week was pretty normal.  Also for the weekend.  Didn't really do anything.  I did catch Dexter smiling a very few times...

Happy in the morning

I even got a different time on video.

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These times are still kind of rare...or at least fleeting.  Then it turns to this pretty quickly.

Trying to figure out the reason for this face...gas, poop, hungry, or just colicky

Yeah we deal with that face and sound a bit.  It's still cute, but definitely keeps one of us always occupied unless he's asleep.  Luckily, Kyle is a great husband and dad who watches him so I can do some stuff in the evening.

All pooped out

Sunday morning I woke up anxious.  This is not new.  I am a worry wort (probably noticeable in previous blog posts or in person).  A really big one too.  I know this and try to improve not being one, but it takes time.  In grade school I would get really sick feeling when I would procrastinate and then have a large project.  By college I fixed this in trying to do assignments (at least large ones) before the day the were due.  Other points of my paranoia worry wort was living with roommates.  Caryn, Wendy, and Katy especially had to put up with this one a lot.  We lived in a neighborhood that was a little below my comfort level.  Well our community was fine, but step out that gate at night and nope, and the people who wandered at night.  There are definitely many stories of me being my worry wort self while living with the roommates.  A funny one is a roommate who decided to clean our downstairs kitchen at 4 in the morning.  Kyle also came to learn of my anxiouness all this when he married me.
Well during pregnancy and now even after, the anxiety feeling has escalated.  I get it easier and they aren't just anxious feelings, I get full blown anxiety attacks.  Those times when I thought the baby was turning, turns out was just me having an anxiety attack.  I've also had a few since the baby was born.  Like when my mom left.
Well....Sunday morning I had one.
This feeling came on from the thought of taking Dexter to all 3 meetings of church.  Since I now know what they are this didn't have me hyperventilating like the previous ones did.  However, I still had pain and other issues that were hard to deal with.  So I just had to tell myself that I knew I already achieved sacrament, and that if things went horribly wrong I could just leave.
After church though the feeling didn't leave.  I even started to feel worse.  Some morning sickness moments returned.  My annoying multi thinking brain had conjured up everything else that has been on my mind.  Moving was one.  Taking care of Dexter is always a stress, and then a few other things here and there.
Even by Monday it hadn't fully gone away.  This is when I had the thought of Joseph B. Wirthlin's quote of "come what may and love it" popped into my head.  I wrote this down, along with all the things my brain was thinking about and all the reasons I shouldn't be worried about them.  Then I repeated this awesome phrase...
COME WHAT MAY AND LOVE IT.  It calmed me down a ton.

This will be my new motto because I really don't like being the anxious, worry wort, paranoid person who has anxiety attacks.  Maybe I should make something with this phrase on it.
So if you kept reading this...good job.
One last thing.  We told the landlord we'd be out by August.  AHHH!!!  Hopefully a place we like opens up in July.  Otherwise, we might be homeless.  Our landlord is definitely sad we're leaving he tried everything to keep us renting from him.  But since we like being close to the FrontRunner and want to stay in our ward he couldn't get us anything.  Still looking at the townhouses.  Just praying timing matches up...but I won't worry about it.